Heya fellas,

curhatan kali ini hampir 100% bahasa Inggris. Kami mohon maaf bagi yang kurang bisa mengikuti. Admin teman-curhatku ngga ngerubah bahasa curhatnya karena kami tau bahwa cewek ini lebih comfy kalo cerita/ngomonk pake bahasa Inggris.

Tapi biarpun begono, curhatannya sangat menarik dan bisa dijadikan pelajaran hidup bagi kita semua. Enjoy the ride, fellas..

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Darn, it's hard to open up those old wounds that never heals... ones that don't hurt if u don't touch it.

I had a bestfriend since I was in junior high. He's always in my sight, always by my side. People always guess there's more to it. But I believed it was just friendship. He was too cute to be with me, that's what I thought. We remained bestfriends for a few years until I moved out of the country for school.

Then I returned, we lived in the same city outside of hometown. I was new in the city, and he took care of me so well it touched me. Months passed by, I moved back to hometown, and distance started to cause sparks. Later on, we were an item. Predictable yeah?

But happy moments didn't last very long. Another chick had been waiting for him way before I moved back to Indo. She made herself think that he belong to her. He didn't wanna hurt her. So we sorta couldn't publicize our relationship to his side of friends. He still let that chick treated him like they were a couple. And he started to lie to me. Few months later, I caught him red-handed 'lying'. Couldn't bear with it, then I confronted that chick. Voila, it didn't strengthen my relationship, in fact, that incident destroyed our rel.

Cold War. Our relationship got smooth for a week and messy for a few weeks. We broke up.

I was having issues with my old man too at the same time and that stressed me out a bunch. Penyakit lama kambuh. I had a seizure. Pretty bad, and since then I was not allowed to see him anymore.

BUT, each time he returned to our hometown, we hang out. Things started to get better and worse at the same time. Relationship with him is good. With my parents? Very bad.

That part stressed him out. We got into fights. We broke up again.

He met someone else but didn't last very long either.

We got back together again. Off again.

Gw menghindar dari dia sejak itu. Completely off the radar for a year or two. But he's always come back to me. *Beuh backsound: 'Come Back To Me' nya Hikki. Hehee. So yeah he's back in the radar. I made myself hold on to one rule, never fall for him again. Coz it will never work out. Besides, he met someone else not long after we broke up, and I felt betrayed. We talked, and talked things out. Lotsa explanation and all. And we moved on to the next level. From enemies back to friendship. Ya gitu deh ... deketan lagi .. he gave me a lot of signals .. too much signals, I'm afraid. I asked whether he was currently single. And he said YES. I asked him again and again until I was satisfied. Same Answer. On the other side, I heard people saying he had someone else. Other people too said it's just a cover... He's gay. Our relationship got stronger until I confronted him one last time, and he said, "there is someone else, yes, but I care for her as much as I care for u."

... game over. I'm not sharing. And I don't want to be with him to cover the fact that he's gay. I raged out in my personal blog, about him being gay, one who could not decide which one he cares more. He read and outraged. We never talk again.

After 6 months of silence, he's posting a lot of "I miss you" etc on his MSN status. So I'm assuming he is with someone else now. And I'm in pain. Like all over again. Wounds that never heals. Only hurts when u touch it. I thought I've moved on, tell me, have I?

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